Since She’s Been Gone

I’ve really noticed a shift in my relationship with Zoe now that she’s away at school. My biggest fear when she left was that she wouldn’t want anything to do with me. I mean, let’s face it, I’m not always the easiest person to get along with, especially when you’re my kid and I want things one way while you want it another. But, since she’s been gone, I’ve noticed that our relationship has really become more positive and sometimes I feel like we’re even friends, not only mother-daughter.

Here are a few examples of the way things have changed:

• We talk more. I guess when she lived here, we were just so accustomed to each other’s lives that there wasn’t a whole lot to talk about. Or, maybe it was just that we were butting heads all the time because I still wanted her to be 8 and she was ready to be 18. Either way, I’ve found that when we do text or chat, it seems more meaningful. Not the old “how was your day” routine. Now, she’s out there doing things that are a first for her, and since I’m not there to see it, I like to hear all about it.
• We listen more. I guess that’s to be expected when we’re talking more!
• We value our time together. I give Zoe a hard time about only coming home to see Brandon, but I know she’s really happy to see us too. She made a point of coming home last weekend so that she could watch Landon’s soccer games and eat dinner with all of us at Mema’s house. She didn’t necessarily have to be here for either things, but she was…and it’s nice that she still likes to be apart of what we’re doing.
• We are more attuned to each other’s needs. For example, when Zoe says, I’d really like _____, I try to meet her requests. I don’t feel like she asks for much, actually hardly anything at all, so when she does ask for something, it isn’t too hard to say yes. Also, I feel like she’s happier to help me out when she’s home. This past weekend when Landon had a late game, she stayed behind with me to help get the two little one’s in the bath and bed before she left for the game. It may not seem like much, but bathing two babies and getting them both to bed is quite a chore and help is always much appreciated. (And, Zoe, I’m not sure if I said thank you, so thank you.)